The Idea

I recently posted a video on my Instagram story that showed a snake I found in the tank of my toilet when I went go to take a piss. I admit, I was startled when I saw it. I gave out an audible yet subtle "oh fuck" when I saw a green tail was sticking out of the back of the tank. I was more afraid when I couldn't see the more dangerous end of it. At first, I didn't know if it was in the tank or still behind it.

When I'd posted that video on Instagram I actually got quite a few responses, even from people that I hadn't heard from in a while. There were messages like when one said "KILL IT", another said, "That would end my trip right then and there," or another that said "That is too much for me. No thanks."  I began to think. I think I'm going to need to put together a list of all of the uncomfortable things you have to deal with on an adventure like this. Luxuries go out the window, and small comforts become the luxuries.  Here are some I've come up with:


Discomfort is mandatory and maturing

Let's say your motorcycle breaks down. Or your brakes, chain, sprockets, oil filter, air filters, or anything else needs routine replacing. Can you find it on the road? Where will you hold onto extras? Can you buy some extras to carry down the road with you until later? The same goes for camping gear. A spoke breaks on the tent? Jerry-rig a fix with resources on hand or your tent is toast. Good luck finding another one.

Eventually you're going to wake up to an air mattress with a lot less air. There seems to be a leak. Maybe you kept it too full and the tent heated up in the sun, causing air to expand. That happened to one of us- the tube broke and now it's a big air bubble.

Maybe a water filter or life-straw runs low. You can't just go on Amazon to find everything. Sometimes you need to buy things WHEN you find them. You won't be able to find them down the road. How will you KNOW what needs replacing or buying before you buy it? You sometimes don't until it's far too late. Some products may run as replacements but they're not the same quality. Be wary. Those Chinese tires or brakes may not last long.

Got a special soap, shampoo, or deodorant that works just right? try to stretch it out as much as you can because you're going to be come a fan or critic of a new company once you seek out a replacement you've never heard of or tried. Mexico City specifically sells shampoo for hair damaged by pollution by multiple brands. Maybe you'll need to switch up your formula to match the environs.

Wildlife is something to always contend with. Whether it's bears in the rockies or ants in the tropics, something is going to cause you to change your ways. In bear country, you need to hide your food and even your shampoo and other toiletries away from yourself. I've parked them in the panniers in the bike away from me. I've slept with a machete and bear mace just to sleep a little sounder that I could put up more of a fight. In the tropics you deal with eveything. Lack of good water has you sick often if it finds ways into your body. Whether it's brushing your teeth with the local water, an ice cube made from tap water, or gargling shower water, you're down for the count. It got you. Leaving clothing on the ground leads to ants in them. Same with food. Every little twitch of a hair must be a bug. Even if you're showered and sitting in a clean lounge of a hostel, you're still finding yourself checking out when a little hair moves in case it's a tick or fire ant.

You do more with less. Maybe you'll wash your dishes in a bathroom sink to get by. You'll reuse socks. You'll reuse anything, really. You'll go without air conditioning, tv, or reliable wifi / data for days or weeks at a time. The last time I felt AC was through the speaking holes of a ticket booth. Speaking of clothes, you're going to be using the same ones time and time again. You'll find yourself using the same pair of jeans for months, the only ones, and they WILL wear out. You're putting all your clothes through all the elements. Rain, sand, heat, and SALT. Fucking salt.

Salt will get into your helmet lining. It'll get into your clothes. It will rust your motorcycle and cause your skin to itch and stick. You know those people that say "I want to live somewhere warm? Get me on a drink with a beach in my hand" ? Those people? That's like 70% of the people I know. Well, I've been to the best beaches of Costa Rica. I've seen the surf outside of Puerto Vallarta. I've seen the waves of the Caribbean lap onto the shores of white-sand island beaches in Panama. After I'm at those places I feel GROSS. No thanks. Any piece of skin that touches chafes. Driving by those places puts a film of salt on my helmet and my bike. It cracks off my leather gloves. My skin feels like it's been spray-tanned with orange juice but without the citrus scent. Instead, it's salt. Sweat doesn't pool on the skin, but runs right off as soon as it's squeezed out if it's not blocked by salt. Anyway, I prefer lakes. 

Can you tell?

-JT

6/1/2023